When teen dating becomes too much
When you’re talking to your teenager about creating boundaries – and this goes for friendships, too – it helps to think of them in three categories: Healthy boundaries are based on respect. This may cause some static at home – you can imagine the tantrums, but you can handle that.Your teen may need help defining their emotional, physical, and digital needs at first, but once they understand the concept of healthy boundaries, they’ll catch on quickly. , for instance, is a good default place to start with regards to physical boundaries. Boys and girls alike need to know that when they make a decision about a particular boundary, be it emotional, physical, or digital, then communicate that decision to a friend, boyfriend, or girlfriend, that’s it: that’s their rule and it should be followed. One child may be ready at fifteen, another might not: all fun details for you to work out over family dinner.At face value – and again, this is just us interpreting the numbers we see – it appears that something we’re doing as a society is working.We’d like to think that the more comfortable we become with talking about sex, the more rapidly we see positive outcomes.And we all know it’s very difficult to unlearn unhealthy habits, especially when they’re the first habits we learn. It’s that simple: if a friend or romantic interest ignores their wishes and steamrolls their emotional, physical, or digital needs, then it’s time to re-evaluate that relationship, and perhaps label it as something other than friendship or romance.The foundation of healthy dating lies in building realistic relationship boundaries. We won’t try to tell you when your son or daughter should start dating – that’s for you to decide. A heads up: if you have more than one child, the right time might be different for each.
By that we mean that most kids at that age don’t even know what they mean by the question actually entails.Then we learn that despite our best intentions, we can’t really do any of that at all: at some point – usually after some hardship and heartbreak – we learn to take care of ourselves in relationships.We learn to set firm, appropriate boundaries and stick to them no matter how hard it is.We’ll use information from Ten to Twenty Parenting as a guide once more.Not just because they’re marketing tag line is funny “Ten to Twenty – It’s an Age, Not a Sentence” but because they’re spot-on..
Others may simply be plain old teenage drama and poor judgment, such as saying “I can’t live without you” or trying to get serious too quickly.