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[chuckling] George to Max George: Max let me in the garage Max: Grandpa said not to let anyone in his garage George: Max this is my garage, Max I swear I drop you off to school in my underwear in my lowrider Max: Cool can I go to school in my underwear too George: Give me the combination Max: Okay 42-16-23 George: Hold on Max: Wait maybe it's 24-61-32 George: There's no 61 Max: Okay 42-32-16 darn it 23-15-32 no George: He gave a combination from a dyslexia fifth grader, the man is an a evil genius George: Look, I know, I don't like it either. [Zack is shocked and hides back in the closet] Okay... Okay, this doesn't mean that you're ugly or stupid. I partied with Chingy and I shared a sandwich with a homeless guy. So no more curfews, no more rules, I'm an adult, and tomorrow night, I'm going out. Now, at the time, I was already growing vegetables in the garden; I didn't want one walking around my house. I'm a grown man, and if I want to, I can leave my papers anywhere! George (after the cops said they just wanted to question Benny but arrested her on sight): Hey, you lied to me! You never see a fireman saying "Jump" and then he takes away the trampoline thing! (reading his speech for court) "I don't think my mom should go to jail for an old robbery when her real crime... Do you know what I said when I was on the phone with her last week? George: (after Ernie's attempts to "seduce" the predator fails) Hey, man, don't worry. (starts laughing) I can't say it with a straight face. So if you can't quit, it's 'cause you're self-destructive, undisciplined, (yells) AND YOU NEVER GAVE ME A BIRTHDAY PARTY WHEN I WAS A KID!
Okay, we did not raise you this far so you can screw up your life with Zack, so there is no way in hell that you are ever gonna see him again! I'll just go to bed, but I want you to know things aren't the same. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury."Angie: I wish they were unresolved. I'm gonna try to stop complaining because I don't want to be your excuse for smoking.
But as the house fills up and no one wants to leave, someone calls the police with a noise complaint.
When the police say the call came from the landline in the house, George owns up to calling them himself to get the people out.
At least with me, I grew up in a rough neighborhood surrounded by criminals, I was lucky!
And if the cops don't find you, I will, and I'll kick your ass. You know, George, sometimes late at night, I'm balled up in the fetal position, I'm naked, I'm holding a double bourbon and I am crying like a baby.
But it turns out he's covering for Erica, who made the call after seeing how miserable her dad was.
You are a good man, and you made a horrible mistake! Benny: I'll tell you what I did when you were a kid. " And then I'd look at the paper and tell you, "It doesn't say..."George: Well, I'm still trying to find my dad.
The first season finds George working with a new manager who helps him pursue a residency show in Las Vegas.
George agrees to be auctioned off as "Slave for a Day" to benefit his daughter's school.
The last straw is when the school baseball team wins a championship, and the manager asks George to buy expensive championship rings for the players and anyone else associated with the team.
When Adam Sandler backs out of hosting a charity golf tournament for Type 2 Diabetes, Olly and Gabrielo encourage George to host it.
But soon, all the other celebrities Sandler had lined up also back out, and George is left with Jerry Seinfeld (or so he thinks) as the only big name star who will appear.