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Consider: A lot of the things that people want from a FWB are actually the rewards reaped from relationships where people put in the hard yards and work at things. I contradicted myself and gave into the hook-up culture I despise to try out this “friends with benefits” thing and it was a car-wreck of an experience. Our situation quickly — very quickly — began feeling more like a relationship than what I thought being friends with benefits should entail.I have seen quite a few clients in FWB relationships that have become anguished over them.They can make themselves very available for their friend and find that their friend does not do the same.Ask yourself what would happen if you lost access to this person because they started dating someone else?Check in: It's not a bad idea to take a pulse check every now and then.Or feel that they are having a very intense connection when in fact their friend only contacts them when they are horny.
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In my experience, when folks don't talk about things, that's when all the problems happen. When I was growing up there would be a regular conversation in my family that went like this: If each had either been more specific or checked in to see what the other meant, there would have been much less anguish over the ensuing stressful weekend.
If we apply that to a FWB situation it could be that one person wants to make booty calls, while the other would like a regular catch up — it needs negotiation to help you both get your needs met.
Take time to reflect and to see if any of your hopes or expectations have changed. Sometimes these arrangements have a use-by date and it is a lot easier on the emotions to use your words to put it to an end, instead of one person rejecting the other till they get the idea.
Again, a few minutes of discomfort can really help both of you avoid a lot of awkwardness and uncomfortable feels.
Answer questions like: Defining what you are doing goes a very long way to keeping you both safe and also meeting both of your expectations.