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Most foreign men on the other hand, have no issues approaching a Japanese woman in English – or even in broken Japanese.
These are just a few theories by friends, co-workers and myself.
Another problem is that many of the Japanese men seem to be afraid of their English ability and thus fail to approach a foreign woman.
You’ll start to feel completely unattractive and ignored at times.
Of course, you get a lot of attention and there’s all this staring, but it’s not because anybody is flirting with you … It might be a different story in bigger cities such as Tokyo and Osaka with a more international community, but in smaller cities and in the countryside with more traditional ideals it can be very difficult for foreign women.
In relationships where the man is foreign I noticed that they mostly speak his native language.
Although they live in Japan and sometimes even have children together who also speak Japanese, the foreign guys don’t / can’t speak Japanese.
And at the same time there’s only a very tiny number of foreign (read: non-Asian) women with Japanese men next to them. Maybe that’s a secret we’ll never quite get, but there are many theories!