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I watched a man I respected become more racist, more sexist because he was surrounded by people enforcing those ideas. Military life is not easy, even if you are cut out for it (which I am not.)Edit: So long, ugh. He drinks too much, smokes too much, drives under the influence, engages in risky behavior like street-racing (while drunk/high/whatever). He won't let her help him with his school work. He won't seek therapy for his PTSD (which is definitely causing the substance abuse.) He abuses prescription drugs and mixes them with alcohol.
I scolded him, but the group would chuckle, and he would change his language. TL; DR: Dated a military guy for almost three years, lost partnership and equality in my relationship and was ultimately very unhappy. He takes drugs while his baby sister tries to do her homework in the next room.
We've planned our life together and I really want it to work out.
I dated a military man and he really set the bar for how a man should treat me (and women in general).
He once got a pitbull, refused to neuter it, kept it in a cage in his room, beat it, then let it go on a farm when it got too expensive to feed.
He's violent, cocky, antisocial, rude, crass, sexist, racist, stupid as a post... Every time she takes him out in a group setting, she ends up crying and apologizing to everyone around because of how flat-out mean he is.
He is an individual and deserves one until he acts otherwise.
Those individuals will be drama and aren't worth your time.
While it's too bad it didn't work out (my fault, not his), I know now how I'm to be treated by a man and will look for someone like him when looking for a husband. I also have a friend who's married to a military guy who is a complete MORON, but he's a good husband and father.
I've worked as a civilian for the army, have friends who have served and have dated someone from almost every branch. But still I'm no expert and only have my experiences.
In all honesty it's just like dating in general you are going to find good and bad guys.
My boyfriend is in the military, and he's not a bad person. He loves his job, and he aspires to be the best he can be for his soldiers. It makes me proud to watch him excel in something that he loves.
But like someone else said, there are bad apples in every bunch. Their being in the military has nothing to do with them being assholes...their just assholes in general. If he starts displaying scary behavior or other toxic stuff, yeah, get the hell away from him.
Anyway, I've recently met a very nice guy, and now everyone around me including my parents are warning me and waiting for it all to blow up in my face. For some people the military is an extension of high school.